Jamie Oliver's "Oliver Twist" blues

Mr. Oliver -if I am not mistaken- is a chef who is quite well-known in the other part of the world and also (from Newsweeks or Times) a food activist. I had the privileged of seeing his show recently in a bus after school. It was awe inspiring.

He is entertaining, funny and (no doubt) know his forte well. He made the dishes in not more than 4 steps.
1. Get a lot of unidentifiable leaves and chop it well.
2. Add in a lot of oil and lemon and mashed the whole lot together into a sauce.
3. Pour the sauce over ingredients to be baked and the salad.
4. Serve the baked ingredients with that sauce and blocks of cheese.

I thought that if that is the way to cook civilised western food then the good taste must have came from the extraordinary ingredients he used. As a beginner in cooking, I was willing to try that. However, my situation made it impossible to even imagine it.

Firstly, I'm penniless. Hence, it is impossible to even get a leaf which was used in the show. However, in the events that I manage to get the money or the ingredients (beg, borrow or steal), there is the 2nd big problem.
The stove, or the lack thereof. It is not THAT bad actually. I have a common microwave in the common pantry. The microwave had been oozing blackish liquid and fishy stench. I'm afraid that if I try to use it, I will die of food poisoning. This comes from a girl that have encountered baked rat and fried arthropods (I mean bugs, spiders, centipedes, millipedes etc) with indifference.

In summary, I could only stare at the TV and wish I have all those stuff here.